"Yeah, I Wanna Dance With Somebody!"

As usual, driving around, running my errands, transporting the siblings’ offspring, I was listening to some classic R&B. Atlantic Starr, Loose Ends, Rene &Angela, Bobby Caldwell... that kind of fare. As the day crept on and I listened more, a familiar urge crept over me. An urge to hold and be held closely-vertically- and to sway in rhythm to the beat. A seemingly distant form of social interaction known as Slow Dragging. I can’t recall the last time I saw two people – gay or straight- slow drag with each other, LIVE. (The Cosby Show doesn’t count!) I think the last time I did it myself, it was with my mother—who always forces me to slow drag with her, which is slightly awkward because she seems to want to lead, but I digress... Before that it was last year for an all too brief moment (maybe half a song) with my then boyfriend at his place. It was nice...very nice, in fact...but it was too brief, and honestly too private.

I want to dance OUT! In a place with a professional sound system, a dance floor, refreshments & libation, and most importantly, other people who are also there to dance (not those who "got they back up on the wall"!). Dancing- Slow Dancing, that is- is one of the few acceptable forms of publicly displaying affection, intimacy, courtship, and good ole self expression. Its often more intimate than holding hands, but not as "privatational" as kissing. Its a very effective, pleasant, and charming way of breaking the ice with a complete or relative stranger you would like to get to know better. Its also another way you can connect with a close friend that indicates deep connection, without reeking of romantic notions that may have yet or never will occur to either party. And if you are in a relationship, its a emphatic- but not contrived- way of professing your affection, establishing exclusivity, and affirming your commitment.

I’m a relatively social person, so I got out relatively often. I’m not into clubs- or the current incarnation of them- but when I have found myself in any kind of social dancing situation in the last year or two, one of two things are happening. 1.) The music is all "DANCE" music, ie House, Trance, etc., and so the dancing that is going on is very individualistic. Or 2.) The music is Hip-Hop or up-tempo, Hip-Hop influenced R&B, which these days hardly makes anyone want to dance...unless its "freak" dancing or to a dance track like "Teach Me How To Dougie" (excuse the slight vomit on the screen...). Either way, people are not connecting through the dance, through the music. So I ask, whats the point???

This evening, I was watching VH1 Soul’s Soul Story featuring Sade, that bastion of jazz-infused adult contemporary R&B music. They played "Is it a Crime" and all I could think is that its a shame that I can’t walk into any gay club today- NAY, any club PERIOD- and hear such music and know that I am going to get a whole other level of groove on tonight. That makes me very sad...and angry......disenfranchised even! Like I’m some weirdo for ACTUALLY wanting to connect to other humans to music in a social setting. I shouldn’t have to throw a house party with the same ole, ride-or-die (or ride-TIL-die!) crew to have such a time. I want to meet new people in that setting. And though its not my style to meet someone at a club/bar/lounge or any social outing and go home with them, its exponentially more likely to happen if we have meet and truly connected (if only for the night) in such an intellectually seductive and subtly sensual environment.

I think of the super-clubs of the Harlem Renaissance like the Cotton Club...
The smoky jazz clubs of the mid-Century like the Blue Note...
The humid juke-joints like the fictional Harpo’s...
The post-prohibition gay speakeasies like the Stonewall-and even its predecessors frequented by the likes of James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, and posse...
They were all about escaping for a few hours from whatever the real world was accosting you with and just swaying to the music. Seeing familiar faces. Acquainting yourself with new ones. Being on one accord with like-minded individuals and having a good time doing it.
I think our interpersonal encounters could be greatly improved if we interacted less on Facebook, dating sites, chat rooms, and text messaging, and took the advice of Nat and Maria Cole and "get out and get under the moon". Until then, I suppose I/we have this blog....


Sade- Is It A Crime.
May I add that I want to go to a club like the one Sade and Sweetback are performing at in this video!!! Where they at?!?


Atlantic Starr-Am I Dreaming